{"id":4471,"date":"2022-06-07T03:15:36","date_gmt":"2022-06-07T03:15:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/crestnetwork.com\/?p=4471"},"modified":"2022-08-25T01:18:33","modified_gmt":"2022-08-25T01:18:33","slug":"editors-note-july-august-2022","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crestnetwork.com\/editors-note-july-august-2022\/","title":{"rendered":"Editor’s Note – July-August 2022"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Memorandum<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To: All Employees<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

From: Administration<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Subject: Special High Intensity Training<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will; be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING. (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you believe that you have not received your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your administrator. You will immediately be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list. Our administrators are especially skilled in seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Employees who don\u2019t take S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.  S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.  S.H.I.T seriously will be required to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Because our administrators took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don\u2019t have to do S.H.I.T. anymore; they are all full of S.H.I.T. already.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a position training others. We can add your name to the BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.  S.H.I.T.) Those who are full of B.U.L.L.  S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.  S.H.I.T.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BOSS IN GENERAL<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(B.I.G.  S.H.I.T.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First Grade Proverbs<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

A first-grade teacher assembled a group of well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of the proverb and asked them to complete it. Here are some of their insights:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Better to be safe than\u2026\u2026.. punch a 5th<\/sup> grader.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Strike while the\u2026\u2026.. bug is close.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s always darkest before\u2026\u2026.. Daylight Saving s Time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Never underestimate the power of\u2026\u2026.. termites.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t bite the hand that\u2026\u2026.. looks dirty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No news is\u2026\u2026.. impossible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A miss is as good as a\u2026\u2026.. Mr.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t teach an old dog new\u2026\u2026. math.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you lie down with dogs, you\u2019ll\u2026\u2026 stink in the morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love all, trust\u2026\u2026. me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The pen is mightier than the\u2026\u2026. pigs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An idle mind is\u2026\u2026.. the best way to relax.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where there\u2019s smoke, there\u2019s\u2026\u2026.. pollution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A penny saved is\u2026\u2026.. not much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two\u2019s company, three\u2019s\u2026\u2026.. the Musketeers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t put off \u2018til tomorrow what\u2026\u2026.. you put on to go to bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and\u2026\u2026.. you\u2019ll have to blow your nose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

None are so blind as\u2026\u2026.. Stevie Wonder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Children should be seen and not\u2026\u2026.. spanked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If at first you don\u2019t succeed\u2026\u2026.. get new batteries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You get out of something what you\u2026\u2026.. see pictured on the box.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Better late than\u2026\u2026.. pregnant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thinking Out Loud<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I started out with nothing\u2026 I still have most of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I finally got my head together. Now my body is falling apart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Funny, I don\u2019t remember being absent minded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All reports are in\u2014life is now officially unfair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If all is lost, where is it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first rule of holes: if you\u2019re in one, stop digging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I went to school to become a wit, but I only got halfway through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was all so different before everything changed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some days you\u2019re the dog, some days you\u2019re the hydrant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nostalgia isn\u2019t what it used to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish the buck stops here. I could use a few\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kids in the backseat cause accidents; accidents in the backseat cause kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not the pace of life that concerns me, it\u2019s the sudden stop at the end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s hard to make a comeback when you haven\u2019t been anywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you\u2019re in the bathroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would\u2019ve put them on my knees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not hard to meet expenses\u2026 they\u2019re everywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Memorandum To: All Employees From: Administration Subject: Special High Intensity Training To assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will; be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING. (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. 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