{"id":5384,"date":"2022-05-26T02:22:00","date_gmt":"2022-05-26T02:22:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/crestnetwork.com\/?p=5384"},"modified":"2022-08-26T02:23:54","modified_gmt":"2022-08-26T02:23:54","slug":"editors-note-may-june-2022","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crestnetwork.com\/editors-note-may-june-2022\/","title":{"rendered":"Editor’s Note – May\/June 2022"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n My Birthday<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Yesterday was my birthday\u2026 and I didn’t feel very well. Waking up, I went downstairs for breakfasthoping my wife would be cheerful and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’ and\u00a0possibly have a small present for me.As it turned out, she barely said \u2018Good Morning\u2019,let alone ‘Happy Birthday.’\u00a0Well, that’s marriage for you, I thought. But the kids… they\u2019ll remember.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n My kids came bounding down the stairs to breakfast\u00a0and didn’t say a word.\u00a0So when I left for the office,I felt pretty lowand somewhat despondent.\u00a0As I walked into my office,my secretary Jane said,\u201dGood morning, Boss,and happy birthday!\u201d\u00a0I felt a little better. At least someone had remembered.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n I worked until one o’clock\u2028when Jane knocked on my door\u2028and said, \u201cIt’s such a beautiful day outside, and it\u2019s your birthday.\u2028What do you say we go out to lunch – just you and me?\u201d I said, \u201cThanks, Jane,\u2028that’s the best thing\u2028I’ve heard all day.\u201d \u2028<\/p>\n\n\n\n We went to lunch\u2026 but not where we normally would go. Instead, she chose a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each, and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office\u2028Jane said, \u201cYou know,\u2028it’s such a beautiful day…. we don’t need to go straight <\/em>back to the office, do we?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI guess not. What do you have in mind?\u201d, I asked. \u2028<\/p>\n\n\n\n She said,\u2028\u201dLet’s drop by my apartment. It’s just around the corner.\u201d \u2028\u2028<\/p>\n\n\n\n After arriving at her apartment,\u2028Jane turned to me and said,\u2028\u201dBoss, if you don’t mind,\u2028I’m going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I’ll be right back.\u201d \u2028<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOkay\u201d, I replied nervously. She went into the bedroom and,\u2028after a couple of minutes,\u2028came out\u2028carrying a huge birthday cake… and followed\u2028by my wife,\u2028my kids,\u2028and two dozen of my friends\u2028and co-workers\u2026 all singing ‘Happy Birthday’. \u2028\u2028<\/p>\n\n\n\n And I just sat there…on the couch. Naked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ++-<\/p>\n\n\n\n Memorandum to All Staff <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n From: Human Resources\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n Re: Updates to the Employee Handbook\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Implementation: Immediate<\/p>\n\n\n\n SICKNESS: \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n We will no longer accept doctor\u2019s statement as proof of sickness. If you\u2019re able to go to the doctor, you\u2019re able to come to work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n OPERATIONS: \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all the parts that you have. Do not consider removing anything. We hired you as you are. To have something removed constitutes a breach of your employment contract.<\/p>\n\n\n\n DEATH OF OTHERS:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n This is not an excuse for missing work. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to death arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and leave 1 hour early, provided your share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n YOUR OWN DEATH:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks\u2019 notice as it is your responsibility to train your replacement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n RESTROOM USE:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose last names begin with \u2018A\u2019 will go from 8:00 to 8:10; employees whose last names begin with \u2018B\u2019 will go from 8:10 to 8:20, and so on. If you’re unable to go at your assigned time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme emergencies, employees may swap their time with a coworker. This exchange must be approved by both employees’ supervisors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n PAYCHECK GUIDE:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The following helpful guide has been prepared to help employees better understand their paychecks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Gross Pay $1,222.02<\/p>\n\n\n\n Income Tax -244.40<\/p>\n\n\n\n Outcome Tax -45.21<\/p>\n\n\n\n State Tax -11.61<\/p>\n\n\n\n Interstate Tax -61.10<\/p>\n\n\n\n County Tax -6.11<\/p>\n\n\n\n Take Home Pay $0.02<\/p>\n\n\n\n +++++++-<\/p>\n\n\n\nCity Tax <\/td> -12.22 <\/td><\/tr> Rural Tax<\/td> -4.44<\/td><\/tr> Back Tax<\/td> -1.11<\/td><\/tr> Front Tax<\/td> -1.16<\/td><\/tr> Side Tax<\/td> -1.61<\/td><\/tr> <\/td> <\/td><\/tr> Up Tax<\/td> -2.22<\/td><\/tr> Down Tax<\/td> -1.11<\/td><\/tr> Tic-Tacs<\/td> -1.98<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n Thumbtacks<\/td> -3.93<\/td><\/tr> Carpet Tacks<\/td> -0.98<\/td><\/tr> Stadium Tax<\/td> -0.69<\/td><\/tr> Flat Tax<\/td> -8.32<\/td><\/tr> Surtax<\/td> -3.46<\/td><\/tr> Ma’am Tax<\/td> -2.60<\/td><\/tr> Parking Fee<\/td> -5.00<\/td><\/tr> No Pkg Fine<\/td> -10.00<\/td><\/tr> F.I.C.A.<\/td> -81.88<\/td><\/tr> T.G.I.F. Fund<\/td> -9.95<\/td><\/tr> Life Ins.<\/td> -5.85<\/td><\/tr> Health Ins.<\/td> -16.23<\/td><\/tr> Disability<\/td> -2.50<\/td><\/tr> Ability<\/td> -0.25<\/td><\/tr> Liability Ins.<\/td> -3.41<\/td><\/tr> Dental Ins.<\/td> -4.50<\/td><\/tr> Mental Ins.<\/td> -4.33<\/td><\/tr> Reassurance<\/td> -0.11<\/td><\/tr> Coffee<\/td> -6.85<\/td><\/tr> Coffee Cups<\/td> -66.51<\/td><\/tr> Calendar<\/td> -3.06<\/td><\/tr> Floor Rental<\/td> -16.85<\/td><\/tr> Chair Rental<\/td> -0.32<\/td><\/tr> Desk Rental<\/td> -4.32<\/td><\/tr> Union Dues<\/td> -5.85<\/td><\/tr> Union Don’ts<\/td> -3.77<\/td><\/tr> Cash Advances<\/td> -0.69<\/td><\/tr> Cash Retreats<\/td> -121.35<\/td><\/tr> Overtime<\/td> -1.26<\/td><\/tr> Undertime<\/td> -54.83<\/td><\/tr> Eastern Time<\/td> -9.00<\/td><\/tr> Central Time<\/td> -8.00<\/td><\/tr> Mnt Time<\/td> -7.00<\/td><\/tr> Pacific Time<\/td> -6.00<\/td><\/tr> Bath Time<\/td> -4.44<\/td><\/tr> Time Out<\/td> -12.21<\/td><\/tr> Oxygen<\/td> -10.02<\/td><\/tr> Water<\/td> -16.54<\/td><\/tr> Heat<\/td> -51.42<\/td><\/tr> Air<\/td> -46.83<\/td><\/tr> Misc<\/td> -144.38<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n